It Is Well With My Soul

One of the things that has gotten me through this trial is music.  My husband and I are both musical, he plays guitar and piano and I love to sing.  Before we knew about Natalie's diagnosis I would sing to her, mostly in the shower.  The first song that really had meaning was "Oceans" by Hillsong United.  I first heard this song a few times before getting pregnant.  The day of our first OB appointment I was a ball of nerves.  I prayed that day that everything would be well with the baby.  My husband and I drove separately because we both would be going to work after the appointment.  The song "Oceans"  came on and I began listening to the words.  The verse that stuck with me from that day was the following:

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

It was not until the days following the ultrasound that those underlined words played over and over in my head.  This by far was the most difficult trial I had ever endured.  Looking back on my life and the trials that I went through before this, I saw how every time God brought me through, He never failed me.  People ask why bad things happen to good people.  Sin in this world is why bad things happen to people.  God allows it so that we can draw close to Him and trust Him.  The strength and comfort that I have found comes from Him.  I gave this to Him from that first day because I could not handle it alone.  I am normally a very positive and happy person.  I have found happiness through Him.  

There are a number of other songs that had deep meaning to me:

Be Still My Soul-This classic hymn soothed my anxious soul even up to my time of delivering Natalie.  

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

How great is it that in my grief and pain God provided peace and love to my husband and I in such a hard trial.  Yes, we are grieving and are sad that our daughter is no longer here on Earth with us but our joyful end is being reunited with her in Heaven.  God sent His son to die for my sins and your sins.  When I think about the sadness I feel about losing Natalie but I cannot imagine watching my daughter or son die a horrible and painful death in the place of someone else.  

Forever-Kari Jobe goes along with the statement above.  Because of God's love in sending His son death is not eternal for those who know Him.  My favorite part of that song is:

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting
Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated

Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive

Where is death's sting?  We miss and grieve for our loved ones that die.  Death is a sad time in life.  Funerals and hospitals are two things that most people want to avoid because of what goes along with them.  I know that Natalie is safe and healed in Heaven and I will get to see her and live forever in heaven with her.  

The first time I heard the next song I was sitting on the beach in Florida.  We knew that Natalie was sick and she had  a 1% chance of making it.  I heard the line "So let go my soul and trust in Him The waves and wind still know His name"  He is in control of everything, not just my life but the waves and the wind I was surrounded by.  It is not only a beautiful song but the words have a great meaning to those going through a situation like ours.  I know that through it all I have to keep my eyes on Him.  His plan and will are bigger and better than mine.  We can try to understand why things like this happen but the truth is that we won't understand, we aren't meant to understand.  But I have hope that we will be blessed again.  

It Is Well-Bethel Music

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul

It is well it is well with my soul
ahhhhhhh 

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.

My hope is that these songs may give you comfort and peace during times of great trials.  As James 1:2-4 tells us, "2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."